Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything, YouTube

Wandering back in

Apparently I can’t keep in the habit of writing regularly anymore, and I don’t exactly know why.

I ended up scrapping the second YouTube channel idea, mainly because it turns out that there is no good way to film in my house without spending thousands of dollars on gear. The lighting and angles are all wrong for it. Instead, I’m accepting the fact that voiceover style videos are what my particular situation allows for and going back to that for the original channel. We just jury-rigged a makeshift sound booth in the finished side of the basement so I can record without the constant sound of traffic and cats demanding my attention (or wailing like the lost and abandoned from the other side of a closed door).

Now, after several decades offstage, I’m trying to remember how to do voice work. I literally grew up in a theater group, and yet I seem to have forgotten how to talk like a normal person when I’m not talking to another physical person. For some reason, as soon as I hit “record” I start talking like there’s someone sleeping in the next room and I’m trying not to wake them up, and I’m having a hell of a time stopping doing that.

Maybe I’ll set up some stuffed animals or something and see if that works. Revive my childhood habit of telling stories to the stuffies under the kitchen table.

Posted in Auntie Yaga's Home For Wayward Monsters, Life, The Universe, and Everything, YouTube

The Story I Keep Returning To

They say that every writer (artist, whatever) has one story that they keep returning to over and over again.

I think there’s truth in that. I’m not sure what the foundation story that I keep returning to is, exactly, but I have my suspicions. The face it wears most often is “Auntie Yaga’s Home For Wayward Monsters”. At it’s heart, it’s a story about found family, animal welfare, and caring for those deemed “monstrous” by society. Also soup and fresh bread.

Alright, fine, yes…it also includes gingerbread houses, mortars, pestles, chicken-legged huts, and all that…

There have been several iterations of Auntie Yaga’s Home since the original fibercraft accident that created Fester the Zombie Bunny and his fondness for wasabi peas more than a decade ago, and there will likely be several more before it’s done with me. The most recent shape and stories seem to have run their course, for the time being at least, and now it’s time to move on to the next variation.

A YouTube channel was not where I expected it to go next but, well, here we appear to be.

But, you say, don’t you already have a YouTube channel?

I do, and I have every intention of returning to that one, however it has some critical issues that I’m stuck on that I can’t find the way around just yet. Some of them are as simple as not having suitable winter clothes for being outside in the New England winter for long, while others are a bit more complicated.

One of the issues can be solved by splitting off and starting a secondary channel for Indoor Things like cooking, small craft projects, and whatnot. When it’s too cold to go outside (or smokey in summer, because let’s face it, Smoke Season is now an annual occurrence), I can make videos that include things like making easy soups, breads, and other tasty goodness while mixing in bits of folklore and stories.

So where did this come from? Well, a couple of weeks ago, after 17 years together, Himself and I got married. We just had a very wee ceremony/slash Halloween party at home, nothing fancy. While looking for wedding clothes (surprising no one, I dressed up as a witch, complete with pointy hat), I had to consider what my “witch aesthetic” is, and realized that it can best be described as “Hobbitcore Baba Yaga”. When I mentioned this on social media, the sheer number of people who agreed with this assessment was rather impressive.

It sort of stuck around in my head and eventually it dawned on me that this was the answer to a couple of my YouTube problems. A second channel, built on the niche of that concept. It wasn’t until I was talking to Himself, trying to figure out a name for the channel, that the idea of rebooting “Auntie Yaga’s Home” came up. I wasn’t sold at first, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more the idea makes sense. I’ll probably modify the name to something like “At Home With Auntie Yaga” or whatever, because this is less about the monster adoption and more about the homey things, but yeah.

Anyway, that’s where things are at. I’m really looking forward to getting back to making videos again, and seeing where this new direction takes me. It should be an interesting adventure.

How’s things with you?

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything, Musings

Ghosts, Folklore, and Other Meanderings

The curriculum idea has been working relatively well, though I haven’t so much made a whole decorative page about it. I made a small list of things I’d like to explore, and have set aside a minimum of half an hour a day each to work on them. I’m currently reading about the history of ghost lore in the US and learning video editing (properly).

Ghost lore is fascinating. I’ve always been intrigued by this particular branch of folklore, and what better time to study it then the spookiest of all months? The book I’m reading at the moment, “Ghostland: An American History In Haunted Places” by Colin Dickey, talks about how ghost stories intersect with and can tell interesting things about the history and unexamined fears, shame, etc. of a culture. The ubiquitous “haunted house built on Indian burial ground” story relating to cultural shame for the land theft and genocide of Native tribes that our history books try and gloss over, the Winchester House myth being a combination of a cash grab and a neighborhood uncomfortable with the idea of a woman alone having that kind of wealth with no man to control it (and thus, her), and so on.

Next month I’m trying to decide if I want to continue alone that vein and start on the history of Spiritualism in the US, or switch over to studying about either Transcendentalism or Romanticism. If I go for Transcendentalism, I live in an excellent area to be able to take a field trip to the Fruitlands Museum or other sites key to the movement, as this was where it originated, and where it continues to influence on the local culture. I’m interested in learning about them from a folklore perspective, instead of the usual philosophical one, as it’s an angle I don’t generally see them approached from.

As is my usual plan for this year, I’m leaning heavily on my local library for resources instead of buying a whole stack of books (unless it’s either something I need and can’t find otherwise, or have determined that it’s a book I need for my own personal reference library), which is going very well. The ILL (interlibrary loan) system is glorious and apparently far too many people still don’t know about it, despite the fact that it’s been around for decades.

I’m currently dealing with a minor cold that is annoying me. I’m taking today to just do absolutely nothing except nap and drink endless cups of hot tea, so my body can devote all of it’s resources to kicking the cold’s ass. I don’t have time to be sick for long, so hopefully this will work.

Speaking of, I think it’s time to go heat up some soup for lunch and doze off for a bit again.

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

A TikTok Trend I Might Get In On

Apparently years of fantasy academia stories are paying off?

Recently, a couple of the YouTubers I follow talked about a trend on TikTok that they decided to check out and, honestly, I might get in on that, as well. Personal curriculum. Basically it’s making a lesson plan and giving yourself homework as a hobby, but instead of the dry horror that was school for most of us, you make it fun for yourself. It’s a way to keep your brain active and learn new things in a conscientious way.

I seriously kinda love it. (Full disclosure: I am not allowed in office supply and stationary stores unattended, or I will absolutely bankrupt myself buying pens and paper and cute paper clips and…) I love it enough that I think I’m going to give it a shot. I mean, oh no! An excuse to use my stationary supplies, learn something, and get a hit of dopamine ALL AT THE SAME TIME?

Madness.

Sometimes the TikTok girlies are okay.

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

Back At The Writing Desk?

This past spring and summer I learned a very valuable lesson. When one is pretty much as burned out as it’s possible to get without ending up in a hospital bed, it’s probably not a good time to try and start another intensive project.

That YouTube idea didn’t get far. Mainly because I was so crispy that I wasn’t able to actually get started all that much at all. I wanted to, but every time I tried, my brain would go silent and the executives would stop functioning and nothing would happen. I still want to get back to it, because I love making videos, but I need to come up with a coherent plan for what kind of story I want to tell first. I have a few ideas, but I need to flesh them out more. I also need to figure out warmer winter clothes this year, because my current coat is not warm enough to be outside in for long.

On the other hand, I’m finally recovered enough that I’ve actually been thinking about self-employment again, and it doesn’t make me want to crawl into a cave and hiss at anyone that thinks about looking in my general direction, so I guess that’s a good sign that recovery is coming along nicely?

* * * * * * *

Back in August, I went to my 30th year class reunion. It was pretty chill and it was nice to see folks I haven’t seen since graduation. I ended up looking through our senior yearbook and was reminded that my answer to the “What do you want to do with your life?” question was “To write professionally”. It’s funny, I’ve pretty much done everything else that I wanted to do, except that. I mean, I’ve written things and people have tossed money at me, but I’ve never actually written at a pro level.

Thinking about it, I still want to do that. I think the issue I have is the same one that I’ve always had.

I do not want to write novels. I don’t have a novel in me. I don’t think I even have so much as a novella. I have anthologies, at best. Collections of short stories. There’s probably some poetry lurking in there somewhere still, as well. This makes publishing complicated. In addition to the usual kinds of complication that dealing with the publishing industry entails. I could self-publish, but gods that’s a lot of work and a helluva learning curve.

Of course, there’s the other problem. I need to actually write again. Weird, I know.

Still, it’s good to know that I do still want to write. It’s a start.

* * * * * * *

In other news, after 17 years together, Himself and I are finally making things official and getting married at the end of October. Nothing fancy, just us, a couple of friends to stand witness, a friend to officiate, and a costume party on the porch. I’m having fun collecting decorations. We haven’t made a general announcement, though we’re not keeping it secret, either. True to form, we’re just sort of moseying our way into it.

* * * * * * *

I’m going to try and start blogging regularly again, though we’ll see how that goes. My track record hasn’t been great for a long time, so I’m not expecting much. Who knows? Maybe I’ll surprise myself.

For now, though, it’s time to wrap things up and go run the day’s errands.

I hope your day goes well, dear readers.

Posted in Uncategorized

Pulling The Pieces Back Together

I’ve been struggling a lot lately.

Trying to string words together, or find a scrap of motivation to take the camera out, or do really anything except slog through the day’s chores and hide inside a book for a few hours has been like trying to drag a carcass through a tar pit.

There’s a YouTube video that I’ve been trying to make since last winter that I’m about 3 seconds from scrapping entirely. It’s aptly titled “In The Weeds” and has a great soundtrack and intro, but it keeps falling apart because I don’t know where it’s going.

There’s a post about what it means to “live a life in myth” that I’ve been trying to write for, probably years, but definitely months that I’ve deleted and rewritten more times than there are grains of sand in the driveway.

My former studio, now craft room, hasn’t been used in months and is in dire need of being cleaned and reorganized, but I can barely make myself go to it’s door, let alone go in and stay in long enough to start sorting through the wreckage.

The world is A Lot and trying to be creative and whimsical while everything is on fire is just….

{screaming noises}

* * * * * *

*deep breath*

One big thing I realized the other day is I think I’m too scattered and fragmented again. I keep trying to keep things separate, instead of combining everything into one whole. My blog is separate from my photography. My photography is separate from my silly little traveling stuffed animals. My YouTube channel is separate from everything. I stare at the scraps of paper and bottles of odds and ends and wonder how it all fits together, while simultaneously making sure that none of it encounters anything else.

Yeah, can’t imagine why I feel like I’m scattered across everything. I *am*.

It’s time I stop trying to sort the puzzle into several different pictures and accept that it’s all one big picture. I’m going to start using Instagram again. At least until a viable alternative appears. No, I’m not starting a third account, Fester the Zombie Bunny and I are going to make an announcement that he’s changing the name of his account and that he and Mom will be sharing the one account under Tricksters Road. I’m going to stop trying to define a life in myth and just fucking live it already. I’m going to either scrap that damned video and start a new one, or take it in an entirely different direction than I’ve been trying to make it go, already. Either way, that thing is getting posted by the end of the week, so help me. I’m going to be blogging regularly, starting now.

It’s time to pull the fractured pieces back together.

Posted in Uncategorized

Vehicular Drama

How my day started….

Me: “Yes, hi, I’m calling to see if you’re able to schedule time this afternoon to get my van up on a lift to check the transmission fluid level? The axle was repaired yesterday by a friend who restores old vehicles, and the seal disintegrated, dumping fluid out. It was fixed, but due to the fact that it’s a sealed transmission (and therefore requires special tools he doesn’t have), he wasn’t able to check if he put the correct amount of fluid back in or not.”

Garage: “So, you’re going to need to get that looked at immediately. Your transmission does *insert lecture about transmission functionality*. If there’s not enough fluid *insert list of issues* can happen.”

Me: “Yes. I’m aware. That’s why I’m calling you. Because the fluid dumped and the manufacturer decided to remove the dipstick and made it so that we can’t check it ourselves anymore. Can you get it on a lift today or not?”

Garage: “Well, if you can drop it off we can maybe get to it later in the week.”

Me: “Do you have a loaner vehicle? We’ve only got one car right now and can’t be without one.”

Garage: “We don’t, but you really need to get that looked at immediately. If you can drop it off tomorrow morning, we can try and get to it sometime this week. If your transmission doesn’t have enough fluid in it….”

Rinse and repeat multiple times, all before being properly caffeinated.

Here’s hoping that this evening’s trip to a dealership (where a time slot was eventually located) will involve less mansplaining bullshit and more just fucking checking the damned fluid level like I asked.

Posted in Uncategorized

Spring is here at last

Gods this winter was rough, wasn’t it?

Okay, spring has been pretty rough, too, not gonna lie.

On the upside, while the horrors persist, so do I, and that means it’s time to dust off the walking boots and get back to work.

What have I been up to the last month or so? *quietly slides Necronomicon under the nearest pillow* Totally wasn’t trying to decide whether or not waking Dead Cthulhu from His eternal slumber to devour us all was a good idea. (Look, it’s been a long year and it’s not even April yet.)

In the good moments, though, I’ve been writing a little, working on learning to play the kalimba, and figuring out a plan for the YouTube thing that I started last fall. I’ve been trying to find a remote job that doesn’t set off my health issues. Biding my time until the sun returns.

Right now, as I write, I’m listening to Senator Cory Booker speak on the Senate floor. He’s been speaking for over 19 hours now, and I’m so proud of him and everyone who is supporting him. In these days, it’s nice to know that some people are trying to fight this shite.

On that note, I’m going to wrap this up, because I’m also fighting some sort of respiratory issue and it’s naptime.

Be well, my loves. Talk to you soon.

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

Bread and Roses: What Are We Building?

I started to make a post on Bluesky, but then realized that it would probably be better to write a blog post about it. So here I am.

Look. Everything has been terrible lately. This is probably going to continue to be the state of things for a while to come. Not much the common folk can do about that except yell. And oh gods, have folks been yellin’.

Unfortunately there’s also a tendency to yell at everyone and everything. There’s a whole lot of folks screaming at people for “how dare you talk about___ , when___ is happening?!?”. Which is…not helping. Bread and roses, my friends. Bread and roses.

There’s also a lot of folks talking about revolutions and guillotines and all that and I want to ask something….

What does the world you want actually look like? In detail.

Fighting against evil and injustice is a good thing. A necessary thing. The problem I’m having is that I don’t know what a lot of y’all are fighting for? Freedom, justice, and community are all excellent buzzwords to shout and write on signs, but what do they look like in practice? What is your plan to care for the vulnerable while this fight is going on? What is your plan for reconstruction? WHAT DOES YOUR BRAVE NEW WORLD LOOK LIKE?

You see, if you don’t know what you’re fighting to build, the only thing you’re doing is fighting to preserve the status quo. You can’t tear something down without having an idea in place of what you want to replace it with because, let’s be 100% clear, here. If you don’t know what you’re putting into the hole after you rip out the rotten tree and have it ready to go in, something is else is going to take root in it, and you probably won’t like what grows from that, either. Historically, what moves in after is just as rotten and damaging, if not worse, than what was there before.

What are you planning to grow after you rip out the tree? How do you plan to grow it? Do you have the seeds ready and in place? What are you doing to prepare the soil for planting? What does your garden design look like?

When all is said and done, what world are you fighting to build?

Tell me about it.

Bread is good, my loves, but we need roses, too.

Bread and Roses

As we come marching, marching, in the beauty of the day,
A million darkened kitchens, a thousand mill-lofts gray
Are touched with all the radiance that a sudden sun discloses,
For the people hear us singing, “Bread and Roses, Bread and Roses.”

As we come marching, marching, we battle, too, for men—
For they are women’s children and we mother them again.
Our days shall not be sweated from birth until life closes—
Hearts starve as well as bodies: Give us Bread, but give us Roses.

As we come marching, marching, unnumbered women dead
Go crying through our singing their ancient song of Bread;
Small art and love and beauty their trudging spirits knew—
Yes, it is Bread we fight for—but we fight for Roses, too.

As we come marching, marching, we bring the Greater Days—
The rising of the women means the rising of the race.
No more the drudge and idler—ten that toil where one reposes—
But a sharing of life’s glories: Bread and Roses, Bread and Roses.
— James Oppenheim, 1911

Posted in Stories

Rattlesack Jack

Sometimes I write folktales that never were. This is one from the archives.

Rattlesack Road cuts through a marsh in northeastern Massachusetts, not far from the coast. Folks who live near it will tell you to stay out of the marsh and to avoid the road that cuts across it between sunset and sunrise. Most won’t say much more than that it’s a bad road, and leave it at that, but if pressed, there are some who will tell you it’s because of old Rattlesack Jack, who the road is named for.

Some say Jack’s a ghost, the spirit of some farmer who died badly out in the marsh. Some say his is a stolen story, reskinned over an older Indigenous tale, or historical recollection twisted out of recognition (not uncommon in New England, sadly). Others say he’s an urban legend told to scare off tourists, since the road serves as a shortcut to a local beach and year-round residents aren’t keen on having every possible road blocked up with traffic. Others still say that he’s something someone brought with them from the Old Country that made itself at home. Personally, I’m inclined toward the last, myself, given how similar the stories are to old Irish or Scottish tales of boggarts and bogles.

Conflicting origins aside, the tales are always the same, and have been for as long as anyone can remember. Local historians have found references to him in journals that date back as far as the old Colonies. Tales of traveling through the marsh after dark and having a horse throw a shoe, or a car breaking down, and hearing sounds like bones being rattled and laughter, or seeing a short, heavy-built man with long, spindly arms and legs watching them from the trees while they changed a flat tire, grinning and shaking a leather bag whose contents made a disturbing rattling sound at them until they hurried away. Even in the days of cellphones and cell towers everywhere, signal’s notoriously hard to come by in the marsh, making it all but impossible to reliably call for assistance if one finds oneself broken down, despite strong connection at either end of the road.

There are also darker tales and a centuries-long record of abandoned horses, wagons, and cars whose owners are rarely found again that’s higher than it should be for a road as out of the way as Rattlesack Road.

The thing with boggarts is that they aren’t always dangerous, generally speaking. Capricious and something to be careful of, sure, but not that much of a threat. However, giving them names? They don’t like that, and that’s when they turn malicious and become dangerous, and that sounds an awful lot like Rattlesack Jack.

(If you liked what you just read, please toss a few coins at your mostly friendly resident word-witch to help keep her little monsters fed!)