Category: Life, The Universe, and Everything

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

The Watchers Return To The Wood

Posted on by Melissa

Some time back, I did a series of artwork around strange hooded figures in masks that walked the woods. Apparently, as I crawl my way back to the video format, they have decided to return in stop motion animation, which should be…interesting. There’s a section of poem in the video I’ve been fighting with that announced that it needed to be animated, and thus I’ve been working on making the pieces to film.

I spent today drawing birch trees on slips of paper and fighting with trying to learn Krita to use to remake the Watchers in a mixed media form. I’m tired and grumpy, but the trees are done and the first of the two Watchers, wearing the mask of a barn owl, has been drawn, printed, and cut out. Tomorrow I need to make the fox-masked Watcher and figure out how to make the campfire, and then it will be time to move on to filming.

Gods, that’s going to take forever. It’s only planned to be 3-4 short scenes, but because it’s all stop motion, each scene is going to take at least an hour or so to shoot. I only hope that it will come out looking the way that I’m planning it to be.

Trying not to panic about general life, though. Himself’s UI ran out and the Hall hasn’t been able to send him back out yet, which means that we’re back on SNAP and out of any other cash. I’m also trying to find some kind of courier job or something that I can do that won’t flare up the Long Covid, but with all of the other fuckery going on, I’m not having much luck. Let me tell you, trying to be creative while freaking out about whether or not one will be able to pay any of the upcoming bills is not as easy as it sounds.

Always an adventure, right?

Now, to bed with me. Lots of things to do tomorrow.

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

Trying Something New

Posted on by Melissa

Many moons ago, I used to blog regularly. It wasn’t earth shattering stuff, just general day to day things. Then I tried to do it for Professional Reasons, and it became work and then I burned out and then I lost the habit and….

I miss it. Not the Professional Reasons, but just the quiet daily practice of writing bits of life down. So, I’ve added a new goal to my Finch app to get myself back to it. I think it’ll be good for me. No pressure, no need to write Something Profound, just….

write something.

I’ve also decided to start experimenting with mocktails, because we stopped drinking alcohol back in the fall (too expensive), and I’m so sick and tired of water that I could scream. My goal is to try one new recipe a week. This week, I think I’m going to try something involving orange and ginger, because they’re two of my favorite flavors. We’ll see how that goes!

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything, YouTube

Wandering back in

Posted on by Melissa

Apparently I can’t keep in the habit of writing regularly anymore, and I don’t exactly know why.

I ended up scrapping the second YouTube channel idea, mainly because it turns out that there is no good way to film in my house without spending thousands of dollars on gear. The lighting and angles are all wrong for it. Instead, I’m accepting the fact that voiceover style videos are what my particular situation allows for and going back to that for the original channel. We just jury-rigged a makeshift sound booth in the finished side of the basement so I can record without the constant sound of traffic and cats demanding my attention (or wailing like the lost and abandoned from the other side of a closed door).

Now, after several decades offstage, I’m trying to remember how to do voice work. I literally grew up in a theater group, and yet I seem to have forgotten how to talk like a normal person when I’m not talking to another physical person. For some reason, as soon as I hit “record” I start talking like there’s someone sleeping in the next room and I’m trying not to wake them up, and I’m having a hell of a time stopping doing that.

Maybe I’ll set up some stuffed animals or something and see if that works. Revive my childhood habit of telling stories to the stuffies under the kitchen table.

Posted in Auntie Yaga's Home For Wayward Monsters, Life, The Universe, and Everything, YouTube

The Story I Keep Returning To

Posted on by Melissa

They say that every writer (artist, whatever) has one story that they keep returning to over and over again.

I think there’s truth in that. I’m not sure what the foundation story that I keep returning to is, exactly, but I have my suspicions. The face it wears most often is “Auntie Yaga’s Home For Wayward Monsters”. At it’s heart, it’s a story about found family, animal welfare, and caring for those deemed “monstrous” by society. Also soup and fresh bread.

Alright, fine, yes…it also includes gingerbread houses, mortars, pestles, chicken-legged huts, and all that…

There have been several iterations of Auntie Yaga’s Home since the original fibercraft accident that created Fester the Zombie Bunny and his fondness for wasabi peas more than a decade ago, and there will likely be several more before it’s done with me. The most recent shape and stories seem to have run their course, for the time being at least, and now it’s time to move on to the next variation.

A YouTube channel was not where I expected it to go next but, well, here we appear to be.

But, you say, don’t you already have a YouTube channel?

I do, and I have every intention of returning to that one, however it has some critical issues that I’m stuck on that I can’t find the way around just yet. Some of them are as simple as not having suitable winter clothes for being outside in the New England winter for long, while others are a bit more complicated.

One of the issues can be solved by splitting off and starting a secondary channel for Indoor Things like cooking, small craft projects, and whatnot. When it’s too cold to go outside (or smokey in summer, because let’s face it, Smoke Season is now an annual occurrence), I can make videos that include things like making easy soups, breads, and other tasty goodness while mixing in bits of folklore and stories.

So where did this come from? Well, a couple of weeks ago, after 17 years together, Himself and I got married. We just had a very wee ceremony/slash Halloween party at home, nothing fancy. While looking for wedding clothes (surprising no one, I dressed up as a witch, complete with pointy hat), I had to consider what my “witch aesthetic” is, and realized that it can best be described as “Hobbitcore Baba Yaga”. When I mentioned this on social media, the sheer number of people who agreed with this assessment was rather impressive.

It sort of stuck around in my head and eventually it dawned on me that this was the answer to a couple of my YouTube problems. A second channel, built on the niche of that concept. It wasn’t until I was talking to Himself, trying to figure out a name for the channel, that the idea of rebooting “Auntie Yaga’s Home” came up. I wasn’t sold at first, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more the idea makes sense. I’ll probably modify the name to something like “At Home With Auntie Yaga” or whatever, because this is less about the monster adoption and more about the homey things, but yeah.

Anyway, that’s where things are at. I’m really looking forward to getting back to making videos again, and seeing where this new direction takes me. It should be an interesting adventure.

How’s things with you?

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything, Musings

Ghosts, Folklore, and Other Meanderings

Posted on by Melissa

The curriculum idea has been working relatively well, though I haven’t so much made a whole decorative page about it. I made a small list of things I’d like to explore, and have set aside a minimum of half an hour a day each to work on them. I’m currently reading about the history of ghost lore in the US and learning video editing (properly).

Ghost lore is fascinating. I’ve always been intrigued by this particular branch of folklore, and what better time to study it then the spookiest of all months? The book I’m reading at the moment, “Ghostland: An American History In Haunted Places” by Colin Dickey, talks about how ghost stories intersect with and can tell interesting things about the history and unexamined fears, shame, etc. of a culture. The ubiquitous “haunted house built on Indian burial ground” story relating to cultural shame for the land theft and genocide of Native tribes that our history books try and gloss over, the Winchester House myth being a combination of a cash grab and a neighborhood uncomfortable with the idea of a woman alone having that kind of wealth with no man to control it (and thus, her), and so on.

Next month I’m trying to decide if I want to continue alone that vein and start on the history of Spiritualism in the US, or switch over to studying about either Transcendentalism or Romanticism. If I go for Transcendentalism, I live in an excellent area to be able to take a field trip to the Fruitlands Museum or other sites key to the movement, as this was where it originated, and where it continues to influence on the local culture. I’m interested in learning about them from a folklore perspective, instead of the usual philosophical one, as it’s an angle I don’t generally see them approached from.

As is my usual plan for this year, I’m leaning heavily on my local library for resources instead of buying a whole stack of books (unless it’s either something I need and can’t find otherwise, or have determined that it’s a book I need for my own personal reference library), which is going very well. The ILL (interlibrary loan) system is glorious and apparently far too many people still don’t know about it, despite the fact that it’s been around for decades.

I’m currently dealing with a minor cold that is annoying me. I’m taking today to just do absolutely nothing except nap and drink endless cups of hot tea, so my body can devote all of it’s resources to kicking the cold’s ass. I don’t have time to be sick for long, so hopefully this will work.

Speaking of, I think it’s time to go heat up some soup for lunch and doze off for a bit again.

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

A TikTok Trend I Might Get In On

Posted on by Melissa

Apparently years of fantasy academia stories are paying off?

Recently, a couple of the YouTubers I follow talked about a trend on TikTok that they decided to check out and, honestly, I might get in on that, as well. Personal curriculum. Basically it’s making a lesson plan and giving yourself homework as a hobby, but instead of the dry horror that was school for most of us, you make it fun for yourself. It’s a way to keep your brain active and learn new things in a conscientious way.

I seriously kinda love it. (Full disclosure: I am not allowed in office supply and stationary stores unattended, or I will absolutely bankrupt myself buying pens and paper and cute paper clips and…) I love it enough that I think I’m going to give it a shot. I mean, oh no! An excuse to use my stationary supplies, learn something, and get a hit of dopamine ALL AT THE SAME TIME?

Madness.

Sometimes the TikTok girlies are okay.

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

Back At The Writing Desk?

Posted on by Melissa

This past spring and summer I learned a very valuable lesson. When one is pretty much as burned out as it’s possible to get without ending up in a hospital bed, it’s probably not a good time to try and start another intensive project.

That YouTube idea didn’t get far. Mainly because I was so crispy that I wasn’t able to actually get started all that much at all. I wanted to, but every time I tried, my brain would go silent and the executives would stop functioning and nothing would happen. I still want to get back to it, because I love making videos, but I need to come up with a coherent plan for what kind of story I want to tell first. I have a few ideas, but I need to flesh them out more. I also need to figure out warmer winter clothes this year, because my current coat is not warm enough to be outside in for long.

On the other hand, I’m finally recovered enough that I’ve actually been thinking about self-employment again, and it doesn’t make me want to crawl into a cave and hiss at anyone that thinks about looking in my general direction, so I guess that’s a good sign that recovery is coming along nicely?

* * * * * * *

Back in August, I went to my 30th year class reunion. It was pretty chill and it was nice to see folks I haven’t seen since graduation. I ended up looking through our senior yearbook and was reminded that my answer to the “What do you want to do with your life?” question was “To write professionally”. It’s funny, I’ve pretty much done everything else that I wanted to do, except that. I mean, I’ve written things and people have tossed money at me, but I’ve never actually written at a pro level.

Thinking about it, I still want to do that. I think the issue I have is the same one that I’ve always had.

I do not want to write novels. I don’t have a novel in me. I don’t think I even have so much as a novella. I have anthologies, at best. Collections of short stories. There’s probably some poetry lurking in there somewhere still, as well. This makes publishing complicated. In addition to the usual kinds of complication that dealing with the publishing industry entails. I could self-publish, but gods that’s a lot of work and a helluva learning curve.

Of course, there’s the other problem. I need to actually write again. Weird, I know.

Still, it’s good to know that I do still want to write. It’s a start.

* * * * * * *

In other news, after 17 years together, Himself and I are finally making things official and getting married at the end of October. Nothing fancy, just us, a couple of friends to stand witness, a friend to officiate, and a costume party on the porch. I’m having fun collecting decorations. We haven’t made a general announcement, though we’re not keeping it secret, either. True to form, we’re just sort of moseying our way into it.

* * * * * * *

I’m going to try and start blogging regularly again, though we’ll see how that goes. My track record hasn’t been great for a long time, so I’m not expecting much. Who knows? Maybe I’ll surprise myself.

For now, though, it’s time to wrap things up and go run the day’s errands.

I hope your day goes well, dear readers.

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

Bread and Roses: What Are We Building?

Posted on by Melissa

I started to make a post on Bluesky, but then realized that it would probably be better to write a blog post about it. So here I am.

Look. Everything has been terrible lately. This is probably going to continue to be the state of things for a while to come. Not much the common folk can do about that except yell. And oh gods, have folks been yellin’.

Unfortunately there’s also a tendency to yell at everyone and everything. There’s a whole lot of folks screaming at people for “how dare you talk about___ , when___ is happening?!?”. Which is…not helping. Bread and roses, my friends. Bread and roses.

There’s also a lot of folks talking about revolutions and guillotines and all that and I want to ask something….

What does the world you want actually look like? In detail.

Fighting against evil and injustice is a good thing. A necessary thing. The problem I’m having is that I don’t know what a lot of y’all are fighting for? Freedom, justice, and community are all excellent buzzwords to shout and write on signs, but what do they look like in practice? What is your plan to care for the vulnerable while this fight is going on? What is your plan for reconstruction? WHAT DOES YOUR BRAVE NEW WORLD LOOK LIKE?

You see, if you don’t know what you’re fighting to build, the only thing you’re doing is fighting to preserve the status quo. You can’t tear something down without having an idea in place of what you want to replace it with because, let’s be 100% clear, here. If you don’t know what you’re putting into the hole after you rip out the rotten tree and have it ready to go in, something is else is going to take root in it, and you probably won’t like what grows from that, either. Historically, what moves in after is just as rotten and damaging, if not worse, than what was there before.

What are you planning to grow after you rip out the tree? How do you plan to grow it? Do you have the seeds ready and in place? What are you doing to prepare the soil for planting? What does your garden design look like?

When all is said and done, what world are you fighting to build?

Tell me about it.

Bread is good, my loves, but we need roses, too.

Bread and Roses

As we come marching, marching, in the beauty of the day,
A million darkened kitchens, a thousand mill-lofts gray
Are touched with all the radiance that a sudden sun discloses,
For the people hear us singing, “Bread and Roses, Bread and Roses.”

As we come marching, marching, we battle, too, for men—
For they are women’s children and we mother them again.
Our days shall not be sweated from birth until life closes—
Hearts starve as well as bodies: Give us Bread, but give us Roses.

As we come marching, marching, unnumbered women dead
Go crying through our singing their ancient song of Bread;
Small art and love and beauty their trudging spirits knew—
Yes, it is Bread we fight for—but we fight for Roses, too.

As we come marching, marching, we bring the Greater Days—
The rising of the women means the rising of the race.
No more the drudge and idler—ten that toil where one reposes—
But a sharing of life’s glories: Bread and Roses, Bread and Roses.
— James Oppenheim, 1911

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

Chop Wood, Carry Water

Posted on by Melissa

Well, yesterday sure happened, huh?

I took the day off of life and spent the time farming through two entire seasons in Stardew Valley. I didn’t bother showering. I brushed my teeth, but that’s about the extent of things. I avoided the Internet almost entirely. I chopped wood, I carried water, I adopted a stray cat named Juno and a small flock of chickens named Nugget, Soup, and Pie. My real cats spent the day sleeping on my lap.

“But! But! You’re supposed to stand witness and not look away and and and!!!”

Fuck that shit. Me burning myself to ashes on Day One won’t help a damned thing except the hateful assholes who want us all dead. I spent my day carefully replenishing my metaphorical silverware drawer because let’s be clear, I’m going to need every spoon, fork, knife, and chopstick I can get my hands on.

Look. I am a disabled queer woman living on a very tiny monthly stipend (the last, finite, dregs of my late father’s retirement fund) in a state with a very high cost of living. I do not qualify for financial assistance. I can’t work a “normal” job anymore due to several health conditions, including Long Covid. My partner and I are not married. He’s been out of work for over a year and I just had to close my art business because it was no longer paying for itself, let alone paying me. We’re down to the last few pennies and pocket lint, and I already had to crowdfund a car repair. The mortgage is due in a couple of weeks and the only thing stopping me from selling plasma to pay the bill is the previously mentioned medical problems.

I am fucking terrified.

So no, I will not be spending any more time than I absolutely have to “witnessing” jack(booted) shit. It accomplishes nothing useful. I will look away from the horror marathon and run my little beach farm (and meadow farm, and mountain farm, and….) as often as I can. I will take my camera out on field trips to the woods and the water and the wild and look for little brown birbs and bright red and yellow mushroom rings. When it’s not subzero wind chills, I will wander and look for whimsy and weird little mysteries, and if I can’t find them, well, I guess I’ll have no choice but to make them. I will make the charms to call the willow-wrens, and play nursery rhymes in the mist, and take the residents of Auntie Yaga’s Home For Wayward Monsters on field trips. I will become a bird oracle and the Oracle of Roads and I will tell strange fortunes at the rest stops and crossroads.

I will be the whimsy and the weird that I want to see in the world.

I will do this because re-enchantment is resistance and dear, sweet fishies, we’re all gonna need it.

(Relatedly, if you want to leave a coin for your mostly friendly wordwitch to help keep a roof over my cats’ heads, the hat’s on the table over here.)

Posted in Life, The Universe, and Everything

Winter Is A Terrible Time For Whimsy

Posted on by Melissa

At the time of typing, the outside temperature is 30 degrees with a “feel” of a whopping 18 whole degrees. (Fahrenheit. -1/-17 for those of you in Celsius). It’s supposed to be in the teens and single digits next week.

Why do I live in a place where the air hurts my face?

Oh, right. Seasons. Cold is the price I pay for proper seasons and autumn.

Feh.

At least the sun is sort of shining? Kinda?

Joking aside, winter is a hard time of year for me. The short days and limited sunlight set off my seasonal affective disorder, the bone-deep cold makes my chronic pain worse, and the ice and snow make mobility issues extra challenging, all of which makes me less inclined to get outside and try to do anything. Just getting out of bed in the morning is a Herculean task.

The political landscape lately is not helping. It’s a terrifying time to be a marginalized demographic.

……

Ya know what? I’m not gonna think about that right now. I don’t need the panic attack.

This year, one of the things want to do is really lean into the idea of “Be The Weird You Wish To See In The World”. Things are tough, and they’re gonna get worse for a lot of folks, and dammit, we really need some whimsy up in this place. Along that line, I’ve decided that I want to start making music again.

Specifically, I want to learn to play the kalimba. It’s a portable instrument that was created in Africa about 3,000 years ago, and sounds like a lower toned music box, and I adore them. (Fun fact: I accidentally made one when I was younger by dismantling a broken music box, scavenging the tine bar, and attaching it to a bit of wood. I used to sit under a feral old crab apple tree and play with it.) I want to learn it and I want to take it and play it outside and add just a little more music to the world. If I somehow end up spawning a few urban folktales in the process, even better.

(Side note: if you want to help with that, I’ve got a ko-fi goal for one.)

As a bonus, it’s one more thing I can make videos with.

Send warm thoughts. I really want to get back out with the camera, but these damned freezing temperatures are killing me.