I’ve been struggling a lot lately.
Trying to string words together, or find a scrap of motivation to take the camera out, or do really anything except slog through the day’s chores and hide inside a book for a few hours has been like trying to drag a carcass through a tar pit.
There’s a YouTube video that I’ve been trying to make since last winter that I’m about 3 seconds from scrapping entirely. It’s aptly titled “In The Weeds” and has a great soundtrack and intro, but it keeps falling apart because I don’t know where it’s going.
There’s a post about what it means to “live a life in myth” that I’ve been trying to write for, probably years, but definitely months that I’ve deleted and rewritten more times than there are grains of sand in the driveway.
My former studio, now craft room, hasn’t been used in months and is in dire need of being cleaned and reorganized, but I can barely make myself go to it’s door, let alone go in and stay in long enough to start sorting through the wreckage.
The world is A Lot and trying to be creative and whimsical while everything is on fire is just….
{screaming noises}
* * * * * *
*deep breath*
One big thing I realized the other day is I think I’m too scattered and fragmented again. I keep trying to keep things separate, instead of combining everything into one whole. My blog is separate from my photography. My photography is separate from my silly little traveling stuffed animals. My YouTube channel is separate from everything. I stare at the scraps of paper and bottles of odds and ends and wonder how it all fits together, while simultaneously making sure that none of it encounters anything else.
Yeah, can’t imagine why I feel like I’m scattered across everything. I *am*.
It’s time I stop trying to sort the puzzle into several different pictures and accept that it’s all one big picture. I’m going to start using Instagram again. At least until a viable alternative appears. No, I’m not starting a third account, Fester the Zombie Bunny and I are going to make an announcement that he’s changing the name of his account and that he and Mom will be sharing the one account under Tricksters Road. I’m going to stop trying to define a life in myth and just fucking live it already. I’m going to either scrap that damned video and start a new one, or take it in an entirely different direction than I’ve been trying to make it go, already. Either way, that thing is getting posted by the end of the week, so help me. I’m going to be blogging regularly, starting now.
It’s time to pull the fractured pieces back together.
Tricksters Road 