It’s nearly 2025.
How the hell did that happen?!?
Gods, it’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve gotten out of the habit of writing regularly, and it makes me sad. For the last couple of years, I was putting so much pressure on myself to try and monetize everything I possibly could that I lost the ability to do anything. Just doing things for the sake of doing them, without an eye to “how can I tailor this to appeal to people who might be inclined to give me a couple of dollars for something”, is horrifyingly difficult. I hate it and I hate that I basically ended up right back where I started. Burnt to ash.
(On a tangential note, oh my fucking gods, people…toss coins to your wordwitches and spellsingers and other artists. Likes and shares are great, and appreciated, but at the end of the day, they don’t pay the bills. I know far too many small business owners who’ve had to close this year because people loved their stuff, but not enough to pay them, and it’s heartbreaking. More on that eventually, when I can be civil about it.)
Anyway.
So yeah. New Year’s is rapidly approaching, and this year I think I’m going to try something different. I’m going to make a list of things I want to learn or try. I gave up on the traditional “make a list of ways to torture myself for not being enough for other people” lists (you know the ones…the lists that are all “I’m not thin/muscular/good enough”) years ago, Instead, I tried setting a word of intention. That’s had some pretty bad luck in the recent years, and has started becoming a point of stress, so I’m letting that go, too.
This year, I’d like to learn to make matcha properly, with the right tools. I’d like to improve my photography and videography skills, which also means getting outside more. I want to learn a “signature dish” to bring to social gatherings. I want to learn how to crochet a “magic circle” for amigurumi. I want to work on getting back in the habit of writing again. I want to read a new library book once a month. I want to visit the Edward Gorey House Museum. I want to learn a new soup recipe. I want to plant more milkweed.
Most importantly, I want to live my life on my own terms, and I don’t want to waste all of my precious, limited energy trying to figure out how to monetize every scrap of my existence. Ideally I’ll figure out a way to live on my terms AND make enough money to pay my bills at the same time. Finally.
In the meantime, there’s a recipe for pumpkin chocolate-chip muffins I’ve been meaning to try waiting in the kitchen. I think it’s time to give it a go.
What are your plans for the coming year?
Tricksters Road 